“This is just how life is” is rarely a fact.

“Normal” isn’t reality - it’s conditioning.

“This is just how life is” is rarely a fact.

More often, it’s a belief we absorbed from an environment that didn’t have the capacity for more. At some point, “being realistic” quietly became a very polite form of self-betrayal.

When struggle is normalised around you, i.e., being underpaid, overworked & quietly resentful, dreaming bigger starts to feel irresponsible. Naive. Delusional. Even selfish.

So you become practical.

Lower expectations.

Learn to want less.

All because that’s what feels… ahem…normal.

And yet “normal” isn’t reality - it’s conditioning. I cannot stress this point enough!

This is why doing something outside of your norm often comes with discomfort. You feel like an impostor. Like you are not supposed to be doing this.

Your nervous system is wired to protect what feels familiar, not what’s objectively safe or good for you.

When you move outside that familiarity, your body can interpret change as a threat, activating stress responses such as adrenaline and cortisol.

This response, primarily, is generated by your thoughts. There is a conflict between what you were told is possible and what you want to be possible.

That’s why change often feels very uncomfortable before it feels empowering. And this is why having someone who can help you go through this discomfort is so important.

Once you begin to notice the beliefs underlying your behavior, you regain choice. And choice is where real change happens.

Not overnight, of course. And not through motivation alone. But through awareness, honesty, and learning to lead your life by leading your thoughts.

So I’m curious:

What’s one belief about life, your abilities, or success that you’ve never actually questioned?

With love & solidarity,

Jelena | Your Coach

P.S. If your first reaction was “blah blah self-work again,” that reaction might be worth getting curious about ;)

Can You Really Let Go of Your Fears?

Just Let It Go! and other pointless advise

“Let it go!”

If you’ve ever heard that phrase… you probably know the rage that rises when someone says it. As if letting go is a button. As if you haven’t already tried.

For decades, my life looked like a movie I would not have auditioned for.

My fiancé disappeared.

Then he ended up in prison.

I spent four years in excruciating pain waiting for surgery, practically living in hospitals.

Someone I loved drowned at 31.

I battled insomnia so brutal that I developed PTSD, depression and anxiety from it.

I was fired, misjudged, mislabeled, misunderstood and misdiagnosed. 

All before even turning 35.

For a long time, I carried my pain like proof that life was hard, that I was fragile, that the universe somehow owed me. And yes, I pitied myself. Yes, some days I felt like a victim. And honestly? That was human.

Later, I learned I have some neorodivergent tendencies, but definitely High Sensitivity — which means I feel everything deeply, process all information intensely, and perhaps a little too fully. That notion brought better understanding, but still, no healing.

Can you really let go of fear and old pain?

Or does it live in you forever?

Here’s what I know after trying CBT, therapy, hypnotherapy, breathwork, meditation, acupuncture, reiki, somatic healing, sound baths (I research like a scientist 😅), coaching, thought-work… all of it.

You can let go of your pain and fear.
And you must.
Because if you don’t, it doesn’t just stay inside you - it spreads.

Unprocessed pain sneaks into your relationships. It weighs on your health. It shapes your choices. It distances you from the people you love. It becomes part of your identity, even when you desperately want to grow past it.

But doing it alone? Nah. I don’t think I could have. And I don’t think most people can.

I do a combination of things: I meditate, I journal, I sit with my feelings in silence and allow myself to feel whatever comes. I had a lot of pittiness, sadness, fear. I allowed it because I needed to know what I was working with. And then I brought this in conversations with my coach.

Even now, as a certified coach myself who helps others rebuild trust and confidence after heartbreak and loss, I still work with a coach. Because knowing the path is not the same as walking it. I have a guide I trust and it makes me a better guide to others.

That’s me. You might be different.

If one hypnotherapy session cures you — please send me their number, because I’m jealous 😂

But here’s what I want you to remember: Healing is not a standalone event; it is a relationship with yourself that takes time to build.

If anything in this post reflected even a small part of your story, I’d genuinely love to hear from you. Not to sell you anything. Just to connect. Healing is not meant to happen in isolation.

With love & solidarity,

Jelena