Can You Really Let Go of Your Fears?

Just Let It Go! and other pointless advise

“Let it go!”

If you’ve ever heard that phrase… you probably know the rage that rises when someone says it. As if letting go is a button. As if you haven’t already tried.

For decades, my life looked like a movie I would not have auditioned for.

My fiancé disappeared.

Then he ended up in prison.

I spent four years in excruciating pain waiting for surgery, practically living in hospitals.

Someone I loved drowned at 31.

I battled insomnia so brutal that I developed PTSD, depression and anxiety from it.

I was fired, misjudged, mislabeled, misunderstood and misdiagnosed. 

All before even turning 35.

For a long time, I carried my pain like proof that life was hard, that I was fragile, that the universe somehow owed me. And yes, I pitied myself. Yes, some days I felt like a victim. And honestly? That was human.

Later, I learned I have some neorodivergent tendencies, but definitely High Sensitivity — which means I feel everything deeply, process all information intensely, and perhaps a little too fully. That notion brought better understanding, but still, no healing.

Can you really let go of fear and old pain?

Or does it live in you forever?

Here’s what I know after trying CBT, therapy, hypnotherapy, breathwork, meditation, acupuncture, reiki, somatic healing, sound baths (I research like a scientist 😅), coaching, thought-work… all of it.

You can let go of your pain and fear.
And you must.
Because if you don’t, it doesn’t just stay inside you - it spreads.

Unprocessed pain sneaks into your relationships. It weighs on your health. It shapes your choices. It distances you from the people you love. It becomes part of your identity, even when you desperately want to grow past it.

But doing it alone? Nah. I don’t think I could have. And I don’t think most people can.

I do a combination of things: I meditate, I journal, I sit with my feelings in silence and allow myself to feel whatever comes. I had a lot of pittiness, sadness, fear. I allowed it because I needed to know what I was working with. And then I brought this in conversations with my coach.

Even now, as a certified coach myself who helps others rebuild trust and confidence after heartbreak and loss, I still work with a coach. Because knowing the path is not the same as walking it. I have a guide I trust and it makes me a better guide to others.

That’s me. You might be different.

If one hypnotherapy session cures you — please send me their number, because I’m jealous 😂

But here’s what I want you to remember: Healing is not a standalone event; it is a relationship with yourself that takes time to build.

If anything in this post reflected even a small part of your story, I’d genuinely love to hear from you. Not to sell you anything. Just to connect. Healing is not meant to happen in isolation.

With love & solidarity,

Jelena

Ireland, love, and a decision that changed everything

It takes me back to Christmas 2009,

when I first set foot on Irish soil — unaware that I was stepping into my own kind of Narnia

Hi lovely,

This week I’m visiting my second home - Ireland. 

This post is dedicated to this emerald island, but it’s not just about a place; rather, it is about love, loss, and the kind of relationship that changes you forever. The kind that breaks you open just enough to let the light in.

I came to Ireland years and years ago, with someone who is no longer in this world but who shaped mine in ways I could never have imagined. I became Irish, for goodness’ sake, something that would have never happened without him.

As I walk the familiar streets of Dublin, I feel his presence everywhere. It takes me back to Christmas 2009, when I first set foot on Irish soil — unaware that I was stepping into my own kind of Narnia, full of charm, magic, and life-changing moments.

He was the reason I got on that plane. He was the one who showed me love that was beautiful and difficult and worth every heartbeat. And even though he’s gone, a part of me still wishes to talk, to laugh, to say thank you for turning my life upside down and forcing me to choose between breaking and rising. 

I share this because I know many of you carry a place inside that feels like that - a space where nothing grows, yet somehow everything does.

After a loss (either by choice or by fate), we want to protect ourselves from the pain, but in doing so, we also prevent joy, new love, and new opportunities. 

That chapter, that person, even though we parted ways in love before we parted ways in dimensions - he opened the door for me, inspired me, to embark on a journey to a different life. A life to be more. More interesting, more wise, more loving, more courageous, more feeling, just more. 

And it’s what led me to the work I do now: standing beside women who also want to heal, love again, and live more fully after life has changed them.

And if you knew me back in 2016, I understand how surprised you are. Back then, I also didn’t think a better way was actually possible. And yet, here I am.

That’s what healing is -  allowing the experiences of the past to grow something new within you.

“In the shelter of each other, we live.” — Irish proverb

With love & solidarity,
Jelena
https://www.coachingwithjelena.com/love-without-fear