“Foundations of anxiety, self-doubt, and modern human suffering”

Remember, the brain's only job is to keep you alive, happy or not, is irrelevant for the brain.

If you are a human on this planet, chances are that you know very well what anxiety, self-doubt, and overthinking feel like. And If you’ve ever thought, “Logically, I know everything is fine… so why do I feel this way?” - this article is for you.

Anxiety, overthinking, self-doubt, and impostor syndrome are not signs that something is wrong with you. They are signs that your brain is doing exactly what it evolved to do - just in a world it was not originally designed for.

Let’s talk about negativity bias, where it comes from, and why real change requires more than understanding.

Why anxiety feels real when nothing is wrong?

To answer this highly popular question, let me introduce the brain’s Negativity Bias. Negativity Bias is our brain’s tendency to:

• Notice negative information faster

• Remember it longer

• Give it more emotional weight than neutral or positive information.

Sounds kinda daunting, right? But let me explain what’s behind it according to evolutionary neuroscience.

For ~200,000 years, the human brain evolved in environments where:

• Missing a real threat = death

• Being exiled from the tribe = death

• Being in a new environment = high chances of death

So the brain learned a simple rule:

“It’s better to assume danger and be wrong than to assume safety and be dead.”

This is why:

One criticism outweighs ten compliments

One awkward interaction replays all night

One uncertainty triggers anxiety, even when life is objectively okay

In simple terms, we can look at it in the following way:

Your brain is not asking: “Is this likely?”. It’s asking: “Could this hurt me?”

The brain structure involved in this process, called the amygdala, scans and reacts to rejection, uncertainty, social tension, loss of control, conflict, and challenging conversations as if they were a threat to your physical well-being. Because a looong time ago, that meant being exiled from your tribe and potentially being eaten.

Remember, the brain's only job is to keep you alive, happy or not, is irrelevant for the brain.

This is why anxiety appears without logic.

Then we also have the hippocampus responsible for memory + pattern storage and it stores emotionally charged memories. Negative experiences get encoded faster and deeper. This explains why one painful breakup can shape relationship beliefs for decades.

And of course, let’s not forget about the Prefrontal cortex (PFC) responsible for reasoning & regulation. The caveat with this guy, though, is that it switches on in a calm state, but under stress, the PFC goes partially offline.

This is why telling yourself to “calm down” when you have anxiety doesn’t work.

You may think, “Modern threats are rarely physical.” True. But your nervous system is still hardwired to see the above as real danger.

Conflict with someone turns into “They do not like me anymore, which means, I will be isolated, being isolated means danger, and that I will be eaten by a lion”.

As silly as this sounds, this is very close to what the biased brain that evolved through thousands of years of literally surviving actually thinks.

So it releases: adrenaline & cortisol, and as a result, you feel anxiety, rumination, overthinking or hypervigilance.

Where Therapy Often Ends and Coaching Begins

Therapy is invaluable. Especially for trauma processing, safety, and healing the past.

But many people reach a point where they say:

“I understand why I’m like this.”

“I’ve processed my childhood.”

“I know this isn’t rational.”

And yet…

Their body still reacts.

This is because insight doesn’t automatically rewire the nervous system.

Knowing why you’re anxious doesn’t teach your system what safety feels like now.

Coaching works in the present-moment loop where patterns actually run.

It helps you:

• Notice beliefs as they activate in real time

• Interrupt the stress response before it hijacks your day

• Rebuild trust between your mind and body

• Practice regulation while living your real life

This is how rewiring happens. And that’s exactly where coaching lives.

With Love & Solidarity,

Jelena